Trip to the 7/11

I went to the 7/11 to get smokes. Picky, my vociferous Schnauzer, was barking uncontrollably as usual in the car. I told the "Simpsons 7/11 Indian guy" behind the counter " Oh, that's my dog's making that noise. " He said in his "Simpsons 7/11 Indian guy voice" "Oh, how many in your family, you, and your dogs and ?"

I replied "That's it. My husband died. It's just me and my two dogs."

He asked "Oh, when did your husband die?"

"Two years ago." I replied.

He said "Oh, like me…two dogs and just me and nobody else."

Yep, that's it.

There It Was

Blood blood there it was
A reminder to what had been
Blood blood there it was
When I pulled back the veil of uncertainty

A glimpse into the past
The past that still seemed the present
I am still cognizant of angel's wings flying
Still aware of the power that was unleashed when the end was there

Blood blood there it still is
A reminder to what had been
It is and it was and it will ever be.

The Warbler

I laid in bed all day today
The weather gloomy and dark
But as the sun came through
I arose and looked out the window

I saw a warbler, unidentified, transient
It's feathers black and velvety
A flash of shimmering gold shone from beneath its wings
Such a wonderful sight to see
I watched at my feeder for it for a time
But it was elusive

It almost made me appreciate life for a moment
It was almost inspiration to stay out of bed
Until it slipped away into the foliage once again
I may never see it again
And I realized how alone I was in the spectacle of its presence

Headache

I need to go back to sleep
Wake up
And start my life over again

As it should be

Things are back in order.
My head is screwed back on tight.
The universe is right.

Everything make sense again.
I can deal with it.
I will die, but I will live while I am here.

And you aren't even aware of what you did.

Straight Lines

I try to mow a straight line.
Every blade of grass I see you in front of me.
Up, down, up, down.
Straight lines.
The house looms largely on the horizon.

It is taking minutes, seconds, hours.
A minuscule amount of time in my life, in eternity, in the universe, in infinity
To make this lawn look good for you.

Up, down. Up, down. Up, down.

Fire in the Kitchen

"There's a fire in the kitchen!" I said softly and dully to my brother and sister while staring eerily up the stairs.

They looked up the stairs towards the kitchen which was beyond view of where we were and looked back at the TV. "You're crazy." I think my brother muttered, perturbed that he had been interrupted by this unsubstantiated claim.

A few minutes later, my mother got up from her comfortable 5 o'clock chair position in the living room where she and dad read the newspaper while sipping on their Manhattans every night. Into the kitchen she went to check on dinner. "Dad! Fire!" We all heard her cry of distress.

Dad got up from his comfortable 5 o'clock position, went into the kitchen, grabbed the cast iron skillet that was aflame, and threw it out the front door, burning his hand with the hot grease.

All of our hearts pounded.